BCN

Well it's been an age, hasn't it? I blame Facebook. It sort of makes blogging obsolete. But I have been prompted to start this again after the lovely Amy from choir sent me a msg saying how great it would be if I were to write all my stuff down.

I dunno. There's a whole lot of thinking to be done in order to organise paragraphs! But we'll see.

So I have moved to Barcelona for a wee while to see what happens here. I will keep you updated as to what may or may not be afoot. For now, I'm going for a wee sleep.

:o)

Lonely hearts

...by Wendy Cope. Too hung over to blog today. Ow.

Lonely Hearts
Wendy Cope

Can someone make my simple wish come true?
Male biker seeks female for touring fun.
Do you live in North London? Is it you?

Gay vegetarian whose friends are few,
I'm into music, Shakespeare and the sun.
Can someone make my simple wish come true?

Executive in search of something new -
Perhaps bisexual woman, arty, young.
Do you live in North London? Is it you?

Successful, straight and solvent? I an too -
Attractive Jewish lady with a son.
Can someone make my simple wish come true?

I'm Libran, inexperienced and blue -
Need slim non-smoker, under twenty-one.
Do you live in North London? Is it you?

Please write (with photo) to Box 152
Who knows where it may lead once we've begun?
Can someone make my simple wish come true?
Do you live in North London? Is it you?

Wendy Cope

You better work!

Man am I bored with working!

I have a huge job on, and I have to use this company's proprietary software to do it. Which isn't so bad, but it is a little bit more taxing on the grey matter and I am just a bit knackered really.

Me and Ulla watched "Some Like It Hot" last night. I'd never seen it! It was like, the most gay-tastic film ever! What a riot.

I am a bit perturbed today. It's my own fault in a way. I was really hung up on a guy last year for the whole time I was in Sweden, basically. It turned out (this was spooky) that I went to nursery school (!) with him (there were only 14 people in the class apparently). Anyway, he had sent me a random message on my fave website Thingbox last year just saying "You're from the same place as me" and then it turned out we knew each other when we were 3!

So we met up last summer, and I sort of completely melted and was dead happy I still could. But he didn't feel the same way about me, and I went off v v sad with my tail between my legs.

Stupidly, last night I thought it might be fun to see if his blog was still online. And lo and behold it was, and he is now happily in a couple with someone. It just really fucque'd me off actually.

Like, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Do I have "Please, don't go out with me, I'm a freak and I'll make your life miserable!" written in some form of invisible ink on my soul?

Self-pity. I know. It just annoyed me because he really helped me open up, and then of course it was a non-starter. Like, NOT FAIR yeah?

Oh blah. I'm just pissed off because I have to work so hard, I think. At least I have Svenska Favoriter and a wealth of schlager to keep me company.

Yay! Sort of.

Flying the Flag (for Sweden)

Hej girls, hej boys, hej superstar deejays-here we go!

Right, it is Saturday afternoon and I should be doing work (story of my life) but am just too excited what with the impending camp-fest that is Eurovision... in a matter of hours!

This will be my first Eurovision in Sweden. We are celebrating in a suitably sedate Swedish way... Ulla's daughter Elsa and her bf Peter are coming, and Albert, her eldest son is coming round. She has made a special Ulla Cheesecake (best in the world!) and though she has been a crabbit old ho today, I'm sure this will change, and her sunny disposition will again be on display...

So, what's new? Well, have been working loads and loads. Not v interesting, but it's been taking up a lot of time, and I've been hearing Ka-Ching a lot.

Watched the Eurovision semis on Thurs, GUTTED that Denmark didn't qualify. It's an Eastern bloc extravaganza nowadays. But it's still Eurovision, and just how miserable would I be if it weren't there at all? Clue: v.

I mean, Bucks Fizz was my first ever concert at the Edinburgh Playhouse on the 15th Aug 1982. My life would never be the same again. I remember my Mum commenting to a friend that Jay Aston was "hard as nails - not a nice woman". Funny that.

So what else. Erm...

Ooh yes. Went out to Torget (super Stockholm gay bar with chandeliers) for 1st time since coming back, with Lisa from Liverpool. Lisa is doing a post-doc at the Karolinksainstitutet here, though she's not so v happy and we'll see where she goes next...

So we got thoroughly sozzled on pear cider and then I dragged her round to Connections, fierce gay club. It was nice not to be there on my own for a change! She got a bit sick of dancing to schalger (what's WRONG with her?) and so beat a hasty retreat. Upon which, to my great surprise, some guy started totally checking me out on the dancefloor. I couldn't see v much what with the strobe lights and being pissed, but it looked like he was dancing with his lady friend. When the lady friend went off to get drinks, man started to seriously eye me, and then came over and OOPS! there we were locked in a tongue sandwich. I was thinking 'Less tongue, more mouth pls' but that is just me, maybe.

Anyhow, it was q fun. Esp since Ulla had just got me to stand on her scales which declared my body contained 42% fat!!!! Like, I am fatter than creme fucking fraiche! I was not pleased. I think the scales they do lie. Me, a fatty? Come now...

So after vague snog, the guy's lady friend came back with drinks. Except it wasn't a ladyfriend but in fact a boyfriend. I hadn't seen he had a beard b4 (damn strobe lights! damn pear cider!)

Things looked hairy for a sec. I thought 'oh fucque this'. So I made like I was going to the bar and then just left. Had a lovely sausage in a bap on the way home (not a euphemism, can I just say?) and it was probably 42% fat as well. Hurrah.

Came home, Ulla woke up, we ended up blethering on the bed for 2 hours and eating chocolate digestives. Was v g.

Went to meet her at Kaffebar at 12. Ulla is in dismay about Turkey maybe winning Eurovision. Like, dismay, yeah? I had to use every ruse to shake that bad boy depression off her face.

Looking up always helps, according to hypnotherapy...

So anyway. I'd best get on, eh? Quite fancy going to Lino after Eurov tonight, but may be too plastered.

Go The Ark! Go Scooch! Go Verka for Ukraine (drag queen with a star on her head!)

Rock. Tuff the dog is now in love with me. It's official. He scratches at the bedroom door every morning going "Whimper! Whimper! Let me in to lick your face!"

Like, yeah.

:o)

Sunshine After The Rain

Well, actually, there hasn't been any rain. A bit of wind perhaps. But "Sunshine After The Wind" sounds a bit dodgy, tbh.

OK, it's Saturday, no school today, so whatcha gonna do?

Well, I thought I might just ramble on a bit on here...

It feels like I never left. Really! Like, as if the whole Sept-May thing in LDN didn't actually happen! V strange. Ulla's cooking is as amazing as it ever was, Ulla and I are both talking the hind legs off a troupe of donkeys, though she is now chatting more in Swedish, which I like (mostly).

The totally strangest thing (and this REALLY IS weird) is that my Swedish is like, 10x better than before! But I haven't actually used it for 7 months! Really mad. Maybe it's doing the hypnotherapy and calming down about it not being absolutely perfect. Me and Queen Pauline both have this sort of "we MUST be perfect at languages before we are considered worthy as people" thing. Him in Dutch, me in French. It is a bit self-defeating when used on a language you are not word-perfect in though.

We have a new flatmate. He is called Daniel and is from Dresden. I was speaking to him this morning and he said "Oh! Do you know it?" and I sort of went "erm". What was I to say? "Oh yeah, we dropped shitloads of bombs on your town." I could have gone for the pottery line, I suppose. They do HAVE pottery in Dresden, don't they?

Anyway Daniel is nice, but pretty disillusioned about Sweden. I think he's going to go back to Germany.

Right, we have also become obsessed by Spiderman. Samuel (Ulla's youngest, 15) downloaded the first 2 Spiderman flicks since he wanted to go and see Spiderman 3 last night, and wanted the background, ja? So on Thurs night, when I really should have been working, ended up watching Spiderman 1+2 back-to-back with Ulla and Samuel, and of course Tuf the dog. They were dead good actually.

However, having now seen Spiderman 3, I can confirm that it is crap compared to the first two. The plot is half-baked and leaves loose ends all over the shop. We don't heart. But it was ok.

I was going to go out to Connections last night, but was a bit scared to, to be honest. I'm not so into this 'going out on one's own' lark since I have spent the past few months nestling in the safe cocoon of lesbianism. I will however go to Lino tonight, if only to dance to Sanna Nielsen's "Vågar du, vågar jag" which is this year's best song so far.

Obviously, the chance to eye up lots of Swedish boy-totty is not to be sniffed at either.

Getting to Stockholm itself was hectic. I went out with the Pinkies en masse on Tues to see Anthony Pinkie's band, "Paleday". They were good. I know all their songs now too. But I do think a keychange or five wouldn't go amiss. I mean if it's good enough for Sanna Nielsen...

Ended up in Molly Moggs gaybar for a fleeting second, then at G-A-Y Late where they let us in this time. Got far too drunk considering I was leaving the country the next day and hadn't packed...

It's so surreal to be back. But good. I've been working totally like a mentalcase as well, and today is the first day I can calm the fucque down.

SO I shall go and have a shower then maybe take Tuf out for a bit and then go into town and see what is up in Stockholm, the most beautiful city ever.

And be excited about the strong possibility of going on hols to MONTREAL (AAAArgh! English and French!!!!) in August.

After Stockholm, Helsinki, Paris, Toulouse and London.

I'm a travel ho! Fly me! xx

OH MY GOD!

Shoes! No, actually, this is v quick to say - I have come back to Stockholm!

And when I saw Gamla Stan from the bus tonight, do you know what my first thought was (to my horror to an extent, I must say)?

"I'm HOME!"

Make of that what you will. I'm totally shattered and going to bed.

In Nacka! Right after I finish listening to "I Want Your Sex"

Sex is natural, sex is good
Not everybody does it, but everybody should!

Cock-a-hula-hoop!

Morning world :o)

So I have made a resolution to update this thing at least once a week. Because it's actually fun to go back and see what I was doing at this time last year (TEH MADNESS of Anissa the Bosnian pregnant lady!). And I do have a certain flair for the written medium, n'est-ce pas?

Coupled with the fact that Kay from the Pinkies (HELLO PETAL) was berating me in no uncertain terms for not keeping the thing up-to-date.

You must understand, my life is so very full, darling, that I just can't possibly take the time out of my busy schedule (or masturbation) to fill this in!

OK. Since last I splurged on virtual paper...

*Lynne and Annie from the choir got married
This was a total riot. Lynne basically is the powerhouse behind the choir's organisation. She is also a star. And I am also helping her with her pain troubles, via hypnotherapy. She lives with Annie. They got civilly-partnered last Friday, and the Pinkies were there in force to serenade them. Me and the supremely talented Carol, Tanya and Gill also performed a wee song for them, as our collective, 'Something Fishy'. Twas v well received. Ended up in the 2 Brewers with Miranda from Altos trying to make me talk to a stranger whom I liked the look of. And me saying "I'm out of my comfort zone here, Miranda!'. I then stayed over with lovely Andrew 'Sandra-Sue' Davies and his partner Jamie in Clapham so that I could go to...

*Brussels last Saturday
After 3 1/2 hours sleep and the insane acceptance of a vodka and tonic at 4.30 am, I got the Eurostar to BXL (my favourite city ever) on Sat morning. It was so nice to have a hangover AND an emergency evacuation of Waterloo station at the same time! I was going to BXL to see lovely Greek Anna and her friend lovely Greek Theodosia, who were doing a yoga course there together. It was great (if surreal) arriving in 30-degree heat and meeting Anna in this place where I used to live, and then listening to them talk Greek (it's all it was to me!) in the car b4 going for the best lunch this YEAR in Theodosia's boyfriend's house. Which, fact fans, was a mere throw of stones from where Queen Pauline of Auchtermuchty used to live. Anna and I went there in homage. (two M's?) Paul and I had so many riotous times in that flat - we wrote 'Interact!' in it (a HEART ATTAAAAHCK!), we smoked fags and stubbed them out in a flowerpot on the balcony, we invented 'Ass in C-sharp', I obsessed about lecteurs from Nanterre, we had Eurovision parties that have never been equalled, Paul and Colin rescued me from the hideousness of Francis in August 2002, I discovered The League of Gentlemen, clicking 'No' to the question 'Are you local?' and watching the computer turn off! Misty water-coloured...

Fuck it, I was trying to make each thing into 1 paragraph, but I can't. Sorry. I need paragraphs. Thank you Mrs. Hardie in Primary 5 for making their use clear to me.

So I gave Anna and Theo some hypnotherapy, then Anna and I went into town and drank cherry beer and talked and laughed and walked about. Anna is one of those rare people I can really let go with, and we just slot into each other (no not like that). So it's really nice to just be with her, yars?

We went to my fave tapas bar in BXL, Tapas Locas, then went home and made each other laugh. She had these Greek chocolates with a picture of the Mona Lisa on each one's wrapper, and they were called 'Cioccondas'. This isn't funny til you realise that the Mona Lisa in French is known as 'La Joconde' so 'Ciocconda' is like a play on words. And it is the gayest play on words since, like, evah. So I was announcing "This is the Gay Chocolate Awards 2007. And the winner in the 'Gayest Chocolate Name (2007)' category is.... (drum roll) "La Ciocconda!" (cue rapturous applause). To be fair, La Cioccondas tasted pretty damn figh-ine, actually, but I mean come on - the Mona Lisa staring up at you 'enigmatically' (she was just French, they all look like that) - while you scoff? Non, merci.

So anyway. Then on Sunday, Anna and Theo went to yoga class and I walked through BXL to the Gare du Midi. Except I didn't cos I walked totally the wrong way and ended up about 5 miles from Gare du Midi. Never mind, I only lived there for like SIX MONTHS! Honestly. It amazes me I get home, some nights. Got train back to LDN, it was delayed but that was OK. I tried not to get too stressed, and bought some Mignonettes for munchage instead (mmm! Mignonettes rule!)

Got into Waterloo, rushed onto Bakerloo line, made it to choir just as the warm-up was finishing. Hurrah! Choir still roolz. And it is much better now, since I have made peace to a large degree with the Pinkie-ex mentioned in previous posts. Though he wasn't there. La la la. Then off to the pub. Where Carol was drunk to buggery. And Anthony played his new song. Which was nice. However, I had had such a hectic weekend that I went home early, to prepare for...

* The 'Something Fishy' gig on Tuesday night
Whereby me (Funky Fingers), Tanya (Eliza Mars), Gill (Lara Montage) and Carol (Vinnie Los Campos) stood on a stage, belted out some camp reworkings of classic disco hits, and threw in a few new ones of our own, to whooping and excitement! It was fab. If you go here: http://inthepinkies.blogspot.com then you can see the video. Under Something Fishy. We had a total riot. We did get a tad sozzled after... leading to

*An evening of joy and tears with Gill
Whereby we went to a tapas bar up in Crouch End and reminisced and projected and allsorts and got all sentimental. The food was totally amazing though. The best gazpacho I've ever had outside of Spain. I ate far too much. And felt a bit ill. This continued into Thursday, and I cancelled hypnotherapy with Lynne because I felt a bit fluey. Then I felt better in the afternoon and so braved the outside and went to...

*An evening of belly-dancing and hula-hooping with some gay men in Soho!
I saw this advertised on OUTeverywhere.com, and thought 'why not?' I have to do something to meet new eligible bachelors, because choir always seems like a good idea and then... So I went and donned a skirt with some coins on and learned all about chakras. We love. Then went to Compton's and got quietly sozzled. And met some lovely new people.

It is now Friday and this evening the divine Ms. Sooz and myself are going to do a life-training weekend entitled 'Making Money Count'. And then I can become super-rich and go and live in Palma de Mallorca. So, I do hope your world's less full than mine, because frankly, sometimes I think I have too much going on!

Lovage to you.